For the purposes of this review I will only be considering the breakfast menu.
If I get a Burger King breakfast I normally go for the bacon, egg and cheese butty meal. Once the girl struggled to understand English, even though it was her first language, and I ended up with a sausage, egg and cheese butty meal. It was shit. It’s not actually sausage, or anything like sausage meat, it’s basically a burger, with a suspicious fuck load of herbs.
Anyway the bacon, egg and cheese is good. It’s not proper bacon, it’s all crispy and preserved, but I like it. The meal comes with hash browns, which are amazing. They’re these tiny little bite sized ones that you crunch. I love them so much. I’ll be honest, I can take or leave the rest of it, I just love the hash browns.
But the coffee is vile. It tastes like instant, or perhaps like it’s made from concentrate. It’s Douwe Egberts apparently. Whatevs.
The service is inconsistent. The guy with the tattoos on his neck and the really tall guy are good, they just get on with it. But some of the others get completely confused. It’s like they’re in a never ending loop of doing their first day on the job with no training and everyone else has fucked off round the back for a smoke. Weird.
6/10 - fucks up my day, calorie wise
When FACT opened I had high hopes for the bogs. They made funny little noises and there was some rumour about high tech ecological stuff. .
But a few years down the line they don’t flush, the locks are broken, they smell a bit funny and the hand driers give out no more than a cursory light breeze.
I had assumed that the Met Quarter would go the same way, but five years in the toilets are holding up well.
There’s often a cleaner knocking about, mopping up any stray drips. It’s airy, and there isn’t normally a queue. Which is odd, as the M&S and John Lewis toilets are always busy in spite of being far lower in quality.
My one quibble is that the built in paper towel dispensers have been left empty for quite some time.
FACT toilets: 3/10
Met Quarter toilets: 9/10
I like Subway because, being English, I don’t like to make people go out of their way for the sake of my fussiness.
But with Subway everything you can have is right there in front of them, so its never any bother to have cheese melted on it, a spicy sauce and gherkins.
On Fridays I don’t have a packed lunch and often opt for Subway for this very reason. It is a happy accident that Friday’s Sub of The Day is Tuna, a personal favourite.
The Subway in Bootle is pretty good, I’ve been using this Subway for over a year now.
There’s a fit guy in there that remembers I like all the salads, but I haven’t seen him recently. You have to watch out for the mardy lady, she once wanted to charge me extra because she felt the fit guy had put too much cheese on my salad. That said if there’s a dithering n00b serving a queue builds it she can knock a sub out quicker than anyone.
8/10 - Worth popping into if you have the stomach to eat after being to the Strand.
… If you were as awesome as I am? Because I am so very kind I shall let you find out.